Veteran Ugandan dramatist Dr. Bbosa, real name Sam Bagenda, has offered relationship advice to couples, urging them to keep relatives and other third parties out of their marriages.
According to Dr. Bbosa, couples should take responsibility for resolving problems within their unions rather than bringing family members into disagreements that arise between partners.
“The ideal thing, I believe, is that one shouldn’t involve their relatives in their relationship or marriage,” Dr. Bbosa said, arguing that by the time two people begin dating, they are expected to have already discussed important issues, agreed on common goals and identified what brings them together.
His view is not that married couples will never experience difficulties. In fact, Dr. Bbosa acknowledges that people can change after marriage, with their behaviour and character sometimes becoming different after they have taken their vows.
But when that happens, he believes the couple should face the changes together.
“It’s true that people change, especially after taking the marriage vows, and sometimes the behaviours change. Now that is when you have to stick together,” he said.
For Dr. Bbosa, marriage vows are an important reminder of the commitment couples make to one another. He particularly points to vows made in church, which traditionally call on partners to remain together through both good and difficult periods.
That commitment, in his view, should encourage couples to work through their differences rather than immediately seeking intervention from relatives or friends.
He also warns that involving outsiders can sometimes complicate an already difficult situation. Relatives and friends may attempt to help, but their involvement can potentially intensify disagreements or make them part of the conflict themselves.
The advice therefore comes down to one central principle: when problems arise, couples should first look inward and work together to protect their union.
For Dr. Bbosa, keeping third parties at a distance is not about ignoring serious relationship problems. Rather, it is about ensuring that the people at the centre of the marriage remain the ones taking responsibility for resolving their differences.