Nalongo Lewis is challenging men to publicly share their experiences in troubled relationships, arguing that women should not be discouraged from speaking about their own struggles.
The influencer and content creator made the remarks while responding to criticism over comments she delivered at the recently concluded Beauty Beyond The Scars conference, an event organized by Bad Black.
Lewis attracted backlash online after some netizens interpreted her speech as encouraging women to mistreat men. She has since rejected that characterization, saying her comments were rooted in painful personal experiences from her life as a single mother and her past relationships.
Rather than calling for women to mistreat men, Lewis says she wants conversations about relationship struggles to include both sides.
She acknowledged that some women also mistreat men who are innocent and argued that men should be willing to publicly document those experiences just as women speak about what they go through.
“If possible, men should also publicly speak about what they go through,” Lewis said. “When we speak about what females go through, we are labelled ‘bad and biased.’”
Lewis said her perspective on the challenges faced by single mothers comes from personal experience.
“When I come out and reveal what single mothers go through, I know what I am talking about because I live through it every day,” she said.
According to Lewis, criticism that such discussions amount to a smear campaign against men misses the point she is trying to make.
She also pushed back against the idea that speaking about women’s experiences amounts to encouraging women to abandon marriages and become single mothers.
“Men look at it as bias and say it is a smear campaign against males, and advocacy for ladies to leave their marriages and become single mothers,” she said.
Lewis ultimately called for men to tell their own stories when they experience mistreatment from women, saying there are “some bad females too.”
Her comments have consequently shifted the conversation from a debate over what she said at the conference to a broader question about whether relationship discussions should give men and women equal space to discuss their experiences.